English: Screenshot of The Beatles from the U.S. trailer for the film Help! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Recently I have been rummaging through the memories of the past 6 or so years in my head. I have spent a lot of time taking mental glances at the positive moments, the negative moments, those moments that make you say “I wonder if,” or “If I had done.” Though I know these types of thoughts are not healthy to dwell on, sometimes I can’t seem to stop myself from wondering where I could have been or where I am heading.
However, while in thought I also have bombarded myself with so many different online discussion topics or google searches looking into other people’s feelings on the same topics, hoping to find some company in my pain or a resolution. Truth be told, there are thousands to millions of people who experience these thoughts every day. However at the end of the day, the sad fact is, it is you alone that will be racing through your mind and heart trying to make peace with them. It could be anything from mistakes made, love lost, Relationships that could have been, friendships soured, family relationships breaking down due to distance or life changes or circumstances outside of your control. Whatever it is that is bothering you, Faith in yourself and your ability to make peace lyes within “You.”
I touch on this topic in the hopes of addressing my own feelings, and hopefully connecting with others who have felt the same way. Being a 20 something my wisdom is limited of course. However, I can say with about 90% certainty that at least one poor soul (probably another 20 something) will read this and relate. So, without any further fluff, here are a few of my words of wisdom.
Man thinking on a train journey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Dreams are important, but don’t lose your grip on reality:
In my teen years I always had the feeling that time would go forever. I didn’t have to rush things just let them happen. Furthermore, I looked towards the future with a careless mentality that money, and stability would just happen and I could pursue fame and fortune without any responsibility. You see, I wanted to be a famous actor, and though the possibility of that happening is slim, I will honestly say that whatever it is you want to be, you most definitely can be that… It just may not be how you expected it. If you pursue “your dream”, the key factor is to first evaluate your reasons you want to pursue it. Is it really your dream or is it just an attempt to attain attention, money, recognition, etc. Though each of these is great, and we all want to attain these things, I personally have come to feel that as famously stated by “The Beatles,” Money can’t buy me love. It also most certainly will not buy personal happiness, it will provide extra comforts. Ask yourself, is this your dream, is this something that you would still be doing whether you were paid or not. There are tons of actors, musicians, writers, scholars and any other field you can imagine, but they may not be making millions, thousands, or even getting paid at all. The main point is money should not be your driving force in life, happiness should.
The past cannot be changed, but you control what lyes ahead.
Unless you feel you’re a gift to humanity from “The powers that be”, you are going to make mistakes, that is what people do and that is how we learn. On that note, if It isn’t something you can fix, accept it, learn from it, make peace with it and prepare to move forward. I can definitely attest to this being easier said than done, but I have faith in myself and I have faith in people that you can create great change in yourself and the world around you if you believe in yourself and your abilities.
Be proud of your accomplishments, don’t be envious of others.
After college I entered the workforce with the expectation of finding a magnificent job that would provide me a life of stability. Due to the still poor economy and the lack of available opportunities, that did not happen. However, I watched other friends of mine go on to find great jobs, with great starting salaries. I even watched my girlfriend attain a job that provided her great experience to lead her down a career path directly tied to her degree. All the while, I was hopping from job to job hoping to nab something that would apply my education and build my experience. In all honesty I am still on that search, however my mentality has changed. I remember thinking, “If I had majored in what so and so majored in, my life would be different.” I began to resent the success of others and that made me a bad person to be around. We all want success, we also want to be surrounded by people who will celebrate that success with us. You do not want to be the person nobody wants to be around because of your negative outlook on life. Strive to be an encourager of others and you never know where that positivity will lead you. Also, always be proud of what you accomplished and look at each day as a chance to learn new things and accomplish new goals.
When it comes to finding yourself, Be patient.
Sometimes I think, “ I want to be successful, established, and confident in who I am and what I do and I want it now.” That’s a load of crap, and I said the above out loud to myself. Do not ever think an immediate change will solve your problems or that you need it to happen now to be happy. That could not be further from the truth. You are always constantly changing, learning, adapting and if you’re not, well then you might as well be dead. Allow yourself to naturally come into your own, one day you will just know, and I don’t quite know how to explain it, I don’t even know if I have reached that point. Still, I know it to be true that one day, you will wake up, and just know who you are and what you want. Now it of course is your choice to make sure that person is going to be what you strive to be.
There are tons of extra tidbits of wisdom I can share with you. I just may add some more. The key focus I hope to drive attention to is that we each have the control to make positive or negative change in ourselves. Getting caught up on what cannot be controlled leaves an open door to negative thought. Once you feel hopeless or you lose sight of yourself you will be battling to regain footing on a good self image. All through life we all will experience many ups and downs that will bring unanticipated change. In our 20’s it could seem like it is now or never, don’t allow yourself to fall victim to feeling it is too late to make a change, whatever that may mean to you individually. You are the maker of you own destiny and also your biggest obstacle to success.
Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)
Mind Over Matter 